'Thanks for All that Has Been and Amen to All that Is to Come' - A Note from a Two Year Old Priest!

Two years back on this day there was a flooding of emotions, primarily of gratitude to God, to the Church, to the Congregation and everyone who in some way or other molded me to reach the altar. I promised myself one thing on that day - that I will remain honest with God and myself. Two years have passed, by God's grace, I have kept up the promise made to myself. A month before the first anniversary I wrote a piece, to myself primarily, and on the eve of the second anniversary what gift could I possibly give myself than to present an honest appraisal of my life as a priest! Life as a priest, more so as a Salesian religious priest, is worth the calling! This year, of all the years that I have spent in the congregation, is a very special year to me for multiple reasons. This year tested my patience like never before, offered me challenges that I wasn't prepared to face, placed me in a situation that I never imagined to be. It took an emotional toll on me to get acclimatized to a new normal in life. I realized that being in the company of people does not liberate one from being lonely! After much struggle, I came to realize  that there is a void deep within and it is futile to fill it with persons and things. Part of the realization is that anyone, including priests and religious, could be silly, mean, shallow and manipulative. Sometimes you can suffer for no mistake of your own. As I left behind the known waters amidst the uncertainties I could find peace and serenity. As a priest it is better to get disturbed so that I don't get settled down with half-baked opinions in a comfort zone. Initially there is a tendency to turn to many for comfort, guidance, understanding and affirmation. The more I tried to do this the more frustrated I became. Certain things are better to leave unsaid to people. Deep down I was proud of all that I went through, the wonderful people that God brought into life, the stories that I listened to and above all, self-knowledge that I gained listening to myself. There were certainly moments flooded with grace as there were moments filled with despair, meaninglessness and lack of faith in God and people. Priesthood does not change oneself completely. Rather it gives something; a sense of purpose, strength and courage to say things which ordinarily others dare not, to stand up for something counting not the cost. It has been truly a remarkable year in many ways as a priest amidst the gloom brought about by the pandemic. At this juncture, I am grateful to friends who accompany me with their prayers and wishes. To God, the source of all that is good and noble, thanks for keeping me going and making me strong. "Thanks for all that has been and Amen to all that is to come."